Updated: Jul 31, 2018
Romans 4:17 NKJV
17 … in the presence of Him whom he believed—God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did;
I spoke in my previous post about the void that I carried. When my first marriage ended I was devastated. I was not the core reason why my marriage ended, I married someone who did not really want to be married. I hung on for dear life because stale saltines were better than none at all. Being alone was unfathomable for me. "Alone? Me? No, I can’t be alone. When I am alone, the void torments me." The ugly cycle went on for years clinging to bad relationships, being traumatized, abandoned and collecting baggage.
I finally let Him in and he filled me and healed me and what a wonderful time it was for me. There were rivers of tears flowing, lots of questions, it was not easy, but He was/is faithful. All I had to give Him was layers and layers of pain. God was so gentle and patient with me, He courted me. He never took me anywhere in my sorrows I was not ready to go. What a perfect gentleman, the Word of God comforted me as the sweet Holy Spirit lead me to scripture after scripture. That is what He did - every lie the enemy ever conned me into believing I emptied it out in my tears and Jesus replaced it with Himself (He is the Word of God). The void was filled to the point where being alone no longer frightened me. Was that it? Noooo, He made me strong enough to leave the place I call quicksand. That’s a place that Christians get stuck when they refuse to allow God to heal them. If you move around long enough in that place, you only sink deeper and deeper. The only hand that can get you out is His. I began my journey with Him into accepting the calling that I ran from, and God blew a fresh wind into my life. I felt so SAFE, I never felt that way in any relationship.
God wanted to teach me how to connect with people through Jesus Christ.
Jesus is the Bridge that reconnected us to God after the fall in Eden, and He is also the reason we can form productive relationships with others after trauma.
God spoke to the void in me and filled it with His love – there was nothing there. After all the abuse I sustained in my life I was not able to connect with anyone in a way that was fruitful. He spoke to the nothing in me – and he is calling forth what was not there into existence. This is a supernatural work He does for us. He gives us what we don’t have- he hovers over the void and speaks life.
Thank you, Lord, for the fresh wind of your Word and the nourishment of your love that healed my sin-sick soul.