Updated: Jul 19, 2018
Genesis 1 NKJV 1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. 3 Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.
There is a void or 2 or 10 in all of us that needs to be filled.
Until I knew Christ as my Savior I was an empty shell. There was a great void in me filled with darkness, a hole, deep and filled with many caverns. I brought this void into relationships with me and often the relationship would turn sour and end. There would be so much passion in the beginning and then somewhere along the line between the nonstop texting, deep passionate kisses and butterflies something would wrong. I always felt like I was not getting enough. Like the ridiculous amount of attention that overflows, in the beginning, was supposed to continue past the “honeymoon phase”. There was no relaxation of the relationship for me or downshifting because you are now comfortable with who you are with. It was not possible for me. If he downshifted I immediately read that as “he doesn’t love me or there is someone else”. I lived in constant fear and anxiety and the person I was with could not get any space. Long periods of silence would buy you a very long 3-4-part text or a run the tape out voicemail. I am almost positive that after a while those texts and vmails automatically got deleted without being read. Being with me must have been exhausting, I bankrupted so many relationships.
Then when I met the Lord He followed me on the rollercoaster of relationships I went through. One after another no time to breathe, there was always someone waiting for the one I was with to mess up, so he could get his shot. The enemy had me set up to stay in this endless cycle of brokenness, so he could keep me empty and starved for love and affection. His plan was to keep me in one bad relationship after another. If I was not starved, then I would not keep taking whatever was given to me. To someone who is starving a stale saltine tastes like heaven. His plan was to destroy me and rob me of my happiness. Only God had a different plan, He allowed me to keep eating stale saltines, and getting sucked into bad relationships because He did not want me to meet my own needs. His plan was to deal with my stubborn resistance so that I would come to Him (even if I was broken), and He could give me Bread of Life and Living Water. He is the supplier of all my needs and I needed to accept His spiritual providence.
When I finally gave up and allowed Him in He fed me, and I was able to hear Him clearer. He then began to uncover the void and nothingness in me. I laid there in His everlasting arms and suckled like a baby at her mother’s breast until I felt full! What a wonderful feeling. God had to fill the void of our relationship before He could go any further. Now He has me in this place of challenging me with relationships, my marriage being one of them. He is teaching me about the purpose and importance of the Third Cord in my marriage. How? By showing me how much I need it to be able to have a healthy relationship that does not go sour or get bankrupted by my deep need to fill the void.